The Chinatown Bust
by Jennifer Thompson
Summary: SYNOPSIS: Ghostbusters bust a Chinese ghost in Chinatown and get paid 550.


The Chinatown Bust  
  
It was mid afternoon at the firehouse. The Ghostbusters had just come back after busting a few ghosts in the Manhattan subway. They get out of the ecto-1 with their jumpsuits dripping with ectoplasmic residue, as they walk staggeringly up to Janine's decks with four sets of traps. "Geez, you guys sure had your hands full!" Janine said, looking surprised as she suddenly laid eyes on the traps.  
  
"Here," Peter said exhaustingly, as he handed her two of the traps.  
  
"I'm not your maid, you know," Janine said looking a bit irritated.  
  
"This is your job, right? We're paying you, aren't we?" Peter said frustrated.  
  
"Yeah, as a secretary! I don't know how to work that contraption you guys have down in the basement."  
  
"Egon, go show her how the storage facility works...I'm gonna go take a shower," Peter said, as he climbed the staircase leading to their resting quarters.  
  
"I'll be playing pinball if anyone needs me," Ray said, as he joined Peter up the stairs.  
"Well...Ahem...Shall we then?" Egon said to Janine, as he led her down to the containment unit.   
  
When they arrived, Janine was in awe of the massive red holding device that Egon and Ray had constructed. It was a huge container built up against the whole back of the basement's wall and painted red. "This is the basic principle of how it works," Egon began, as he picked up one of the traps to demonstrate the process, "you open up this small door and insert the trap face up. Then you push it through and release the contents of the trap. When you see that red light turn green," he said pointing to the light above the containment unit, "then the ghost has been successfully incarcerated in the containment unit...? Any questions?" he asked.  
  
"Can you go over the part about opening the small door and inserting the trap again...I'm a bit confused," Janine said blushing, as she looked up at Egon.  
  
"It's a very simple process, Ms. Melnitz," Egon began again, not knowing what Janine really meant, "you open this door and put the trap inside. When the light turns green, the trap is clean."  
  
Just then the phone upstairs began to ring. "Hold that thought, Egon...I'll be right back," Janine said, as she raced back up the stairs to answer the phone. She got to her desk, panting, she answered the phone. "Ghostbusters.....What...? I can't understand you..........Can you speak a bit slower...? ..............................Alright, they'll be right over. Just give'm fifteen more minutes, one of em's in the shower..........Well I'm sorry, but Ghostbuster's have to clean up after a bust! You don't want'em smelling like crap all the time, do you?!" with that, Janine slammed the phone down. "Geez, what a blow hard!" Janine muttered under her breath. Janine bent over the desk and pressed the alarm firmly with the palm of her hand. Just as soon as she did, Ray sled down the fire pole.  
"Not another bust?!" Ray whined. "I was just in the middle of a Ms. PacMan game...I almost beat Venkman's top score by this much!" he said, showing Janine his index and thumb very close to each other.  
"Well I'm sorry 'no.2 BIG' couldn't beat 'no.1 ASS'. I would have loved to see that myself," she said sarcastically. "You're wanted at Luck Duck Dong Market on the corner of Clay St. in Chinatown."  
Just then Egon came up the staircase from the basement and made his way over to Janine and Ray. "I heard the alarm...What's wrong?" he asked.  
"We're wanted in Chinatown...Man Spengler; this is too much for me! We gotta hire someone to fill the void...It's just too much with just you me and Venkman," Ray complained.  
"I don't think we're that far off from hiring someone...Just a few more busts, and we'll have enough in our budget to hire more help," Egon said.  
"You know...I could be a Ghostbuster, if you don't mind?" Janine said in cheerful voice. She thought that if she was a Ghostbuster it would bring her and Egon closer together.  
"I thought you were 'just a secretary'," Peter said, as he came down the staircase. His chest and feet were bare, while wearing a pair of jeans. And as he walked down, he was drying his hair off with a towel.  
Janine didn't say anything. The expression on her face was good enough to send chills down anyone's spine.  
"Calm down, kitten, it was just a joke!" Peter said to Janine when he saw the mean glare in her eyes with her lip starting to curl upward.  
"Pete, we have to bust some spook in Chinatown, you gotta hurry up so we can leave," Ray said.  
"Hold your horses, Ray...You can't rush beauty," he said with a smirk. Peter went back up the stairs, and when he came back a minute later, he was wearing a white t-shirt.  
Meanwhile, Ray and Egon were just putting the finishing touches to their jumpsuits; adding their elbow pads and donning their black leather gloves. "Hurry up, Venkmen, I hate it how we have to wait on you every time," Egon said impatiently.  
"Keep you're socks on, I'm hurrying," Peter said, as he slowly opened his locker to piss off Egon.  
"While we're young, Peter!" Ray said, irritated.  
  
Finally, when Peter put on the last Ghostbuster accessory, they all climbed inside the ecto-1; opened the gate, and took off. They arrived forty-five minutes later at the Luck Duck Dong Market. People were already crowded around the store before the Ghostbusters pulled into a vacant parking space across the street. Just then the store owner rushed across the street looking extremely angry. The owner was a Chinese man in his mid fifties. He was very skinny, balding, and wore a white shirt, maroon sweater vest, and khaki pants.  
"Konichiwa, watashitachi Ghostbusters san! Anata wa shinjiru e dekiteiru! Domo arigatou, Mr. Roboto!" Peter said as friendly as possible.  
"Who you think I am?! Oh I get it! Just cuz I Asian, you think I Japanese! I no Japanese...! I CHINESE! CHINESE!!" the Chinese owner said enraged. "YOU LATE!! I call you oh-vaa one ow-wa ago!" the store owner said irritated.  
"Sorry about that, I fell in the shower," Peter said, as Ray and Egon rolled their eyes at each other.  
"We got held up in traffic too...Sorry..." Ray said apologetically.  
"Where's the ghost?" Egon asked.  
"En dare!" the store owner pointed to his shop across the street. "It been causing quewite a rock-us...Knocking food off shelves and driving away all my customers...Preeze do some-ting!"  
"Don't worry, we're professionals...We handle this kinda thing all the time," Ray said, as he, Peter and Egon made their way across the street to the store.  
  
They made their way inside the store and noticed the food knocked off shelves. Every aisle was cluttered with a variety of Chinese food. Egon pulled out his PKE meter and began to search for the entity. He walked up against the wall behind the check out counter slowly. All of a sudden the meter wings flew up and pinpointed where the ghost was. "I found it. It's in the back room," Egon said.  
Ray put on his ecto goggles and opened the door. "There it is! I see it!" he whispered to Egon and Peter.  
"According to the PKE, it's a class three free-roaming full-torso vaporous apparition. It shouldn't be too hard to catch," Egon said.  
"Well that's good news," Peter said with a sigh of relief.  
"PETER! LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!!" Egon shouted, as the ghost suddenly came out of the wall and appeared behind Peter.  
The ghost was that of a Chinese woman. She had long black hair that was braided into pigtails, and wore a ceremonial robe that draped off at the bottom and formed a vapor trail. She also wore a ceremonial Oriental umbrella hat, earrings, bangles, and glasses. Peter was stunned at first, but then regained his composure, and fired his pocketron glider at the entity. Neutrona beams shot out of his wand, but missed the ghost by a hair. "Damn that bitch is fast!" Peter said, surprised. "Are you sure it's a class three, and not a class five or six?" he asked.  
"I'm positive, Venkman, the PKE meter never lies," Egon said.  
"Yeah, free-roamers are nasty little buggers that are hard to catch," Ray said. "It has nothing to do with what class it's in."  
"If you say so," Peter said.  
"Heads up! It's coming back!" Ray said, when he noticed a faint plasma trail in his ecto goggles.  
"Peter, Ray, get on the opposite sides from each other; I'll get the trap ready," Egon said.  
"Oh sure, you get the easy job!" Peter said sarcastically.  
The ghost materialized out of a wall, and flew directly towards Ray and Peter. "Remember—"  
"Yeah, I know, I know...'Don't cross the streams'...Thanks, Egon," Peter said, in a board tone of voice, as if he had already heard the lecture several times before.  
Ray powered up his positron collider and fired at the ghost; catching it in his neutrona beam. "Okay, Peter now!" Ray shouted.  
At that moment, Peter charged up his wand and fired directly at the ghost. Both Peter and Ray's beams encircled around the entity, as the ghost stayed in midair struggling helplessly. "Alright, Egon, set the trap!" Peter shouted.  
Egon placed the trap on the ground and slid it underneath the ghost. "Alright, on the count of three, I'm going to open the trap," Egon said. "Turn off your streams when I say three...Ready...? One...Two...THREE!!" he said, as pressed his boot firmly on the peddle. At that moment, Ray and Peter shut off their beams, and an inverted pyramid of light materialized out of the trap and sucked the entity into its vortex; closing the lid automatically as soon as it was inside.  
"Is it in?" Ray asked.  
Egon walked over to the trap and nudged it gently with his boot. "It's in," he said with a smile.  
"Great..." Peter said, smiling. "Hey, since we're in the neighborhood, why don't we pick up some Chinese food?"  
"You know, Peter, in China they just call it food," Egon said.  
  
The Ghostbusters made their way out of the store when the store's owner came barging up to them. "Did you get it, what was it?" he asked.  
"What you had in there was a class three free-roaming full-torso vaporous apparition," Egon said.  
"How much I pay?" the store owner asked, when he noticed the trap with its smoky vapors smoldering off of it.  
"Well, you're in luck," Peter began. "We're having a class three sale of $300! Normally a class three entrapment costs around $3000. Also, there's storage of the beast charge, which is another $100, and proton charging...$150...Bringing the grand total to $550."  
"Five hundred freeff-ti da-ras?!" the Chinese store owner yelled in amazement. "I won't pay! That too high!"  
"Hey, dare ga anata wa kaimono de omou ka?," Peter said in a firm tone.  
Just then the Chinese store owner looked surprised as though he had seen another ghost, and was stunned and in shock. "Oh, soarwy! So soarwy! I pay, I pay...!!" the owner said extremely apologetic, as he began to sign them a check. "Hold on...Be right back!" he said, as he frantically went inside his store and unhooked three peeking ducks that hanged from the display window. He came back out and handed each of them one. "Here! Take reese...! You take fo good ruck!"  
"Thanks," Peter said with a smile, as he accepted the ducks and the pay check.  
  
"What the hell did you tell him?" Ray said when they got back to ecto- 1.  
"Oh that...I said, 'dare ga anata wa kaimono de omou ka?' It means, 'who do you think you're dealing with?' in Japanese."  
"And he understood that?!" Egon said, shocked.  
"Evidently so," Peter said. "In college, my roommate Murray Williams lent me a book called, How to Score in Japanese. Chicks really dig that sort of thing; unfortunately, it never did me any good."  
"Well it sure came in handy. We got our money...And ducks!" Ray said in congratulations.  
  
THE END 


End file.
